Hello Darlings… Happy new month!!! God is so good and I really don’t know what I’ll do without him. How has your week been? My week has been going on well and oh well I can’t wait for the weekend Lol.
I’m so excited that I’m doing another post on Thonia’s Thought and if you’re a new reader/ Visitor on my blog (Yaaay welcome) Thonia’s thought is basically me sharing thoughts on what I’m feeling, what I’m probably going through at that moment. It’s the very personal aspect of me and like I said when I started, I’m not going to hold back anything because I love you guys too much to do that.
So undefined friendships especially with the opposite sex has been a thing almost all of us have gone through at one point or the other. You meet someone, get very close to the person and you find out you two are acting like couples ( Well not necessarily doing everything couples do), But you are checking on eachother everyday, texting, sending eachother cute pictures and videos. An incident happens and you begin to question yourself and the person you have been talking to “What are we”? That’s probably the most annoying question ever.
I won’t deny that I’ve not been in a “What are we” situation and to be very truthful, it’s a question you really don’t want to ask as a woman. Asides from the fact that the man is most likely to answer you with “Oh we are just friends” or “I really like you but I’m not ready for a relationship” You can imagine how you would feel afterwards. You might be strong to just move on like nothing happened, or you can be like me and probably cry that day and Erm delete the person off your social media platforms(Covers face).
I recently got out of the whole acting like we are dating but we are not in a relationship. He is an amazing person I won’t lie to you and I feel we would have avoided destroying the friendship if we had defined it and probably not acted like couples by being jealous if one talked about the opposite sex or getting very angry for not replying a chat or text. The funny thing that happens when you are in an undefined friendship with a man is that you begin to give excuses for him like “maybe his ex made him like this? He likes me but he’s taking his time? ”
I cut out of mine when I realized I was angry he didn’t see me as worthy to be his girlfriend, I was angry at myself and I even started questioning maybe I wasn’t good enough. I think mine didn’t get too complicated because he is a very busy person and we hardly see, we just chat and talk everyday. I really should mention that you deceive yourself with “I’m going to stop acting like this when I see someone that truly loves me and isn’t going to be scared to tell me”.
It got so complicated that I had to block him on my social media platforms (Childish yea?). I wouldn’t judge anyone for doing anything that makes them happy and that was the only way I was going to be fine totally, not ever hearing from him.
I actually wanted to write more than this but I just realized that I’m in no place to even start giving advice to people like me who are struggling to get out of a “what are we” situation. All I know is that no matter how close you and him are and until he officially asks you to be his girlfriend, You are just a girl he talks to. He doesn’t owe you anything for being there for him or for doing things you should be doing with your future husband or boyfriend. So just be yourself and do whatever makes you happy, Your happiness is all that really matters.
I say I’m still struggling because he actually had my email address and sent me a mail and we had the longest conversation and I promised to still be a good friend and I unblocked him and well things have been going on well. I’m trying everyday to remind myself that nothing might ever happen and we would just be good friends. He makes me happy and has been there for me so many times, that’s something to hold on to.
I’m wearing an orange dress that has been in my wardrobe for three years and I’ve never worn it because I really didn’t know the particular place or event to wear it to. I realized you can actually wear it for a date , hang out with your friends or anywhere you think you’ll be comfortable wearing it .
Thank you so much for stopping by and I pray the new month brings great things. What are your thoughts on undefined friendships? Do you have any advice to people struggling with one?
I’ll really appreciate your coments in the comment section. Have a great week darlings!
Dress- Gift from mum
Hair- Wig Lola from Nappyhaired
Shoes- Forever 21.