Hello guys, it’s nice to have you here on my blog again and I’m so sorry for not being consistent but I promise to be better. I’m really excited for today’s blog post because it’s an issue I dealt with for so many years and sometimes I still find myself going back to “that dark place” but thankfully it doesn’t last for too long before I bounce back!
I was always described as the fat child by some family members and friends and as a child that didn’t get to me because my mum, dad and siblings never used my body size against me until primary 4 when the school needed to form a dance group that was going to represent the school at events and competition. My music teacher handled the responsibility of choosing members of the group and one day he came to my class to ask who was interested in joining the group and I raised my hand out of excitement and to be honest I was a really good dancer at that time but his response still remains one of the major triggers that made me hate my body. In his words “We need only slim girls and boys for the group” SMH.
How do you feel about your body? If you don’t immediately think of anything positive and nice to say about your body or how you look, don’t worry you’re not alone. It’s so hard to accept and love your body especially being a plus size because the world has created a fake standard of how everyone should look and certain features they must posses like flat stomach, slim waist, perky boobs, abs and so much more which is really funny because we are all unique in our different ways.
A lot of us have heard the phrase “body positivity” but haven’t truly paid attention to it or what it means. Body positivity is unlearning the idea that only certain body type/sizes are acceptable and instead recognizing that all body sizes are valuable”. When you have a positive body image you are able to accept, appreciate and respect your body. You definitely wouldn’t think you have a perfect body or be void of any insecurities but you will acknowledge any insecurities for what they are and not let it define you and know that your body is perfect for you!
Here are a few things that helped me on my journey;
- Who’s dissatisfied with your body: Are you truly not happy with your body or someone else isn’t. I personally didn’t have an issue with how I looked until my music teacher made me aware of how I looked. Knowing why you don’t love your body is the first step to embracing how you feel and with that you can work on being better and loving yourself.
- Say positive things to yourself everyday: I do this everyday when I’m either brushing or making up and it makes me feel so much better. Say amazing things to yourself, call yourself beautiful names because you’re truly beautiful. If you think talking to yourself is weird then you can write it down in sticky notes and paste on the wall in your room or somewhere you pass before leaving the house so that you can be reminded. You can also record a voice note and listen to it before going to school or work. Self affirmation works and makes you feel so good about yourself. Learn it, say it and reapeat it.
- Admire the beauty of others but avoid comparing yourself: I appreciate people with flat stomach and slim arms and the rest but you will never see me compare myself or wish I was like them. So its okay to appreciate the beauty of others but don’t end up comparing yourself or wish you were like them.
- Avoid negative people: One thing I tell people is that even if the negative people are your family members please caution them when they say negative things about how you look and if possible cut them off (Yes I said that). I have politely told an aunty to stop calling me “Orobo” which means “fat” because I didn’t like it. So for the sake of your well being avoid negative people and an atmosphere that you’re not comfortable in.
- Exercise for health and not weight loss: Exercising is very good for your health but when your sole purpose of exercising is to lose weight then there’s going to be an issue because you get obsessed with the idea of losing weight and when it doesn’t happen fast you end up hating yourself and doing everything to make sure you lose that weight. I started exercising in Uni and when I wasn’t seeing any difference because you know how crazy Uni can be (we end up eating late most nights) I stopped eating and this led to me having ulcer.
- Taking pictures: I know you’re like take pictures?! this worked for me. I started taking pictures for my blog and with amazing compliments from people I decided to take time to really appreciate myself and taking pictures made me really happy too.
- Get rid of clothes that don’t fit and wear flattering clothes.
- Prayers and getting closer to God: I’m a Christian and a strong believer that prayers work and if you realize that you have tried everything and you still hate yourself and how you look Please constantly talk to God to help you love yourself and read scriptures and devotionals. I currently use the You version bible app and it has been really helped me . You can download it from google play store too.
The secret to loving yourself is that it doesn’t happen overnight. It is challenging and slow but it’s worth it. I really pray this post inspires you and helps you. If you need me to answer any questions please let me know in the comment section.
Have an amazing weekend.